


Show Me Where My Skin Begins

by allonsy_gabriel



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, I'd say light but like, Love, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, i'll post something funny tomorrow don't worry, it's kinda heavy, just gotta be emo here for a minute, reassurance, we're dealing with Lup's umbrella-based trauma, y'all see the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23570806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsy_gabriel/pseuds/allonsy_gabriel
Summary: Sometimes Lup forgot what she was.
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup
Comments: 10
Kudos: 56





	Show Me Where My Skin Begins

**Author's Note:**

> oh man oh golly oh gee can you guess who's been feeling emo?  
> hint: the answer's me

Sometimes Lup forgot what she was.

Sometimes the world blurred at the edges, becoming fuzzy and distorted, framed by something heavy and black.

Sometimes Lup stood in front of the mirror and touched the skin of her hips, of her neck, of the spaces between her fingers, to remind herself that she was  _ real _ . That she was more than just the figment of her own imagination, more than just a heart sealed away in a wooden vault.

She stared at the body reflected in the glass, took in all the bits and pieces that made her up. The chipped purple fingernail polish, the stretchmarked hips, the blonde hair that faded into a deep red towards the end of her short, frizzy curls.

There was muscle under that skin, fibres that clung to bones, tissues that formed lungs which breathed and a heart which beat.

She gripped the edge of the countertop, pulled herself closer to the mirror. A freckle on her left cheek, slightly darker than the rest. A ring of navy around her lavender eyes. Gapped teeth, dark skin, wide lips.

A million little things that tied her to ground.

“Lup? You almost done in there, honey?”

And Lup sighed, ran those purple-tipped fingers through those frizzy blonde curls.

“Just about!” she called back. She took her robe (red, of course, for the nostalgia, for the reminder) from its hook on the door and wrapped it around her shoulders.

A comforting weight, pulling her closer to the earth.

Barry stood at the foot of their bed, already dressed in his pyjamas, a soft, tired sort of smile on his face.

He stared at her for a moment and opened his arms.

Lup fell into his embrace in an instant, burying her face into the joint of his shoulder and neck, twisting her fingers into the fabric of his shirt. Barry’s hands came up to wrap around her waist, to cup the back of her head.

“You’re safe,” he whispered, his low, the vibrations of his voice rumbling against her chest. “You’re here. You’re real. You’re wearing the robe Magnus got you the day you got your body back. You’re standing on the rug we bought so that your feet won’t get cold in the mornings. You’re holding onto my shirt, the one you gave me that says  _ Do Necromancy Not Drugs _ . We’re here, in our house. Taako and Kravitz are asleep down the hall, and Angus is still up reading in his room. Listen, if you’re quiet you can hear his music.”

Sure enough, when Lup held her breath, allowed herself to focus on more than Barry’s words and the beating of her own heart, she heard it, the quiet piano and violin of the boy’s music.

“It’s all real.  _ You’re  _ real, safe and sound. Nothing is going to fade, nothing is going to disappear, nothing is going to hurt. Not ever again,” Barry said with the sort of determination usually reserved for fighting world-swallowing apocalypse hell beasts.

“Not ever again, huh?” Lup repeated, not yet moving from where she was tucked against her husband’s chest.

“Nope,” Barry agreed. “Not if I can help it.”

“Better be glad you’re here, then,” Lup whispered.

“The both of us,” Barry said slowly, placing a kiss on Lup’s forehead, squeezing tight to every part of her, holding her fast and keeping her solid, closing the fly-away gaps between her atoms. “Better be glad the both of us are here.”

She took a deep breath and smiled at the feeling of the world around her.

Present.

_ Real. _

**Author's Note:**

> shit's wack, i'm a mess, leave a comment and help a friend


End file.
